Tuesday, October 4, 2011

On the Lighter Side...........by Laura of Redgirl and Flyboy

I recently received some news from Auntie Mabel and her cats: Daemon Surlycat, Spotty Cowgirl, and Soprano “got chicken?” Catface.  Here’s the letter:

Dear Laura and all the family,
Well, we’ve had an interesting summer here, and with fall cooling things down, I thought I would catch you up on the latest new about my kitties.
Daemon is such a smart kitty. You know he is getting his doctorate in Human Behavioral Science or some such thing. Amazing what you can do online these days. I can’t imagine if the college knew Daemon was a cat that they would let him take these classes. I suppose they will find out when he sends them his measurements for his cap and gown. He does seem to be doing quite well, though. He does these experiment things here at home. I have to wonder if they are CAT experiments or HUMAN experiments.
Here's an experiment you can do at home with your own cats. Go into the bathroom and shut the door. Run some water (or something) so the cat knows you are in there. In a short time you will start to hear the cat meowing, then yowdeling. Then you will see the paw-under-the-door trick. Now depending on whether your cat is right-handed or left-handed, and how securely the door is shut, the cat may be able to open the door. If not, give it a minute and open the door so the cat can come into the bathroom with you. Then shut the door. The cat will only want your attention for a minute until it realizes the door is shut. It will stare at the door knob trying to do the Kitty-Mind-Bender thing they do that makes humans open doors for them. DON’T fall for it. Not yet. After the staring comes the "I'm-not-really-trying-to-push-open-the-door-I'm-just-stretching" thing they do. Then, more staring. Then, they will stick their paw under the door from inside the bathroom. Yup. So now you can let the cat out of the bathroom, and you stay in the bathroom. When the cat goes out, shut the door. In a minute the whole thing will start again with the cat trying to get into the bathroom again. I really think the cats are playing a prank on us when they do that.
You remember those cards someone would hand you that say on one side: “HOW DO YOU KEEP AN IDIOT BUSY? over.” So, you turn the card over and on the other side it says “HOW DO YOU KEEP AN IDIOT BUSY? over.” Yeah—that’s what the cats are doing to us. Sometimes I hear them laughing at night when they think we are all asleep. They're probably drinking all the ginger ale and eating all my cookies too. They think up new ways to keep the idiot busy..over.
So, while all of this is, I am sure, very interesting, I know you would really like to hear about Daemon’s studies and his Theory of Relativity. It’s an interesting story actually. Well, very interesting to Daemon anyway.  He was at his desk writing up his diser...  deserr…. this paper for his doctorate thingee. He had all his studies done, all his research completed and tallied and compiled, everything ready to go, but I could hear him hissing and paper hitting the trashcan, and there were tufts of fur floating about. Apparently, Daemon had made a few mistakes. It seems that all his notions were pre-conceived, and his trains of thought de-railed, his conclusions were drawn badly, and his phone was off the hook.
I can hear you thinking—Auntie Mabel has flipped her wig. But if you saw the cats doing their stuff, though, you would know what clever, clever cats they are. Yes, house cats. Very big house cats.
Anyway, it seems Daemon had to start his experiments over since they only proved that I am a cat person. He is a bit frustrated and wants me to invite some of my friends over who aren’t cat people so he can experiment on them. I’m not sure that’s a good idea though.
Okay—I have to go smoke a salmon for the kitties. They asked for maple-glazed smoked salmon for lunch today and that takes a while to make. Daemon gets very surly when his lunch is late, you know.
Take care dear,
Auntie Mabel and the kitties

Guest post by Laura of Redgirl and Flyboy on Artfire. Laura has enjoyed the company of many critters in her lifetime while raising a family. Now she is helping look after the next generation of family and pets, with love, laughter and joy! Her creative talents, including writing, are expressed in all kinds of ways as can be seen by the nice variety of products in her studio on ArtFire.

Note: The graphics in this article are from Microsoft Office (http://office.microsoft.com/en-us/images/??Origin=ES790013001033&CTT=6&ver=12&app=mstore.exe) and were added by Debra on Laura's behalf.


Scotti Cohn said...

Hahaha! Great letter. We often wonder what our 5 cats are doing during the night while we sleep. One morning i got up and found five playing cards laid out on the floor, face down, as if someone had been interrupted while dealing a hand!

Debra at Sleepy Cat Designs said...

Very funny! Our cats and dogs are way smarter than we realize and how they think is a mystery! But they know how to train us pretty well...love the part about "I have to go smoke a salmon for the kitties" - hilarious! Thanks to Laura for taking the time to write a post for our blog!

3 Peeps Designs said...

I love this! Cats are such crazy creatures. I talk back to my Buffy, but our other 2 aren't as talkative... but they are probably more crazy than Buffy. I also love the artwork on this post. Who did these?

Debra at Sleepy Cat Designs said...

So glad you asked because I forgot to add the link info for those graphics! They are from Microsoft Office and are free for noncommercial use as long as link is attached or copyright notice and I could not find a copyright notice to include. Anyway, they are cute, aren't they?

Creative Critters said...

Oh I just love this one- LOL! And both my cats enjoy the bathroom trick, performed exactly as she described! It's so funny how "cat people" understand these things automatically ;-)

JLynnPro said...

Too funny!

You know, sometimes I hear noises, and I could SWEAR they are downstairs redecorating! We have 8, so that's not out of the question!

Thanks for this great post!

El at Tantalizing Stitches said...

This article is so funny!!!! I've always wondered what my cats do while I am away or asleep. Now I know :)